PORT ST. LUCIE, FL—Move over, Publix rotisserie chickens—there’s a new poultry revolution in town, and it’s ruffling feathers in Port St. Lucie.
With egg prices soaring higher than a seagull at a beach picnic, over 300 fed-up residents have signed a petition demanding the right to raise their own backyard chickens. Because nothing says “economic crisis” like turning your lawn into a mini Old MacDonald’s farm.
“They’re Basically Pets That Pay Rent”
Angelina Smith, a proud chicken mom from Palm Beach County, knows the struggle. Her flock of 10 feathery overlords not only provide free breakfast but also double as her personal fan club.
“They all have their own little names,” Smith said, as her chickens swarmed her like she was holding the last bag of mealworms at Walmart. “If I need eggs, I just walk outside. No price hikes, no shortages—just fresh omelets on demand.”
Meanwhile, in Port St. Lucie, desperate residents are staring at $8 egg cartons like, “This is why we can’t have nice things.”
City Officials: “But What About Our ✨Aesthetic✨?”
The city’s response? A firm “No cluckin’ way.” A spokesperson insisted that backyard chickens are “incompatible with the city’s design”—which, let’s be real, probably just means they don’t want roosters waking up Karens at 5 a.m.
But St. Lucie County Commissioner Cathy Townsend isn’t buying it. “It’s worked in the county, and it’s working in our neighborhoods,” she argued. “These chickens are pets, they’re food sources, they’re tiny economic warriors!”
The Great Egg Rebellion
Petition supporters aren’t backing down. One resident, Courtney, summed it up perfectly: “Everyone should have this freedom.” Meanwhile, others are side-eyeing the city’s priorities—because nothing screams “urban planning disaster” like a few hens next to a pool cage.
Smith, the OG chicken whisperer, swears the investment is worth it. “Yeah, building a coop costs money, but so does therapy after seeing egg prices.”
Will Port St. Lucie cave to the cluck-tivists? Only time—and maybe a few well-placed chicken protests—will tell.
Until then, residents will just have to keep smuggling eggs like contraband. 🐔🚔