Because nothing says “Happy Holidays” like biting a cop in a school zone.
Polk County deputies probably thought it was just another Tuesday morning—until they met Lara Alexandre. The 23-year-old Clermont woman decided to kick off her day by speeding through a school zone, iPad in hand (priorities, am I right?), and—of course—no seatbelt. Because who needs safety when you’ve got vibes?
When pulled over, Lara casually informed deputies that she didn’t have her license. Surprise! Turns out it had been suspended since September. But wait—there’s more! A quick search of her car revealed marijuana and a grinder in her purse, along with the suspended license she definitely wasn’t supposed to be using.
At this point, most people would accept their fate and start mentally preparing their mugshot smile. Not Lara. Oh no. She escalated things by elbowing a deputy in the chest like she was auditioning for WWE: Law Enforcement Edition. Then, as if that wasn’t enough, she decided to bite another deputy on the arm while being processed. Because nothing says “I regret my life choices” like chomping down on the people trying to book you.
Sheriff Grady Judd, Florida’s resident master of sassy press conferences, summed it up perfectly: “I don’t know if Ms. Alexandre celebrates Christmas or not, but she’s certainly not spreading joy this holiday season.”
Lara now faces a festive lineup of charges, including battery on law enforcement (twice!), resisting arrest (with violence), possession of weed, and—of course—driving with a suspended license.
Moral of the story? If you’re going to break multiple laws before breakfast, maybe don’t do it in a school zone while looking at an iPad. Just a thought.
Stay classy, Florida. 🚔💨