DELRAY BEACH, Fla. — Florida strikes again with another “hold my sweet tea” moment, and this time, it involves a Boca Raton mom, a toddler, and a nap gone horribly wrong.
Monica V. Pagan decided that the perfect place for a midday snooze was her car—with her 1-year-old son chilling on the floorboard like a forgotten grocery bag. Deputies rolled up to find the kiddo sweating like a tourist in July while Mom was catching Z’s in the driver’s seat.
When the cops tried to intervene, Pagan apparently woke up and chose violence. She announced, “I’m going home”—because nothing says “responsible parenting” like attempting a jailbreak with a toddler in your arms.
What followed was a scene straight out of a Florida Man blooper reel:
- Attempted Child Extraction: Deputies tried to pry the kid from her grip, turning the situation into a WWE match featuring a confused baby.
- Kick to the Groin: Pagan allegedly went full Mortal Kombat on a deputy’s sensitive areas.
- Kicking Spree: When they tried to put her in the squad car, she turned into a human windmill, legs flying everywhere.
- Sedation Required: Fire rescue had to tranq her like a zoo animal just to get her to the hospital.
- Bonus Bite Attack: Because why not? She allegedly chomped down on a deputy’s arm like it was a Publix sub.
Pagan was eventually released on $9,000 bond, which we can only assume she paid in loose change and expired coupons.
Meanwhile, the 1-year-old is reportedly fine—probably already googling “how to file for emancipation.”
Stay tuned for the next episode of Florida Parenting Fails, coming soon to a Walmart parking lot near you.