TalesFromFlorida.com Exclusive
CLEARWATER, FL—In what can only be described as the most Florida way to handle a potty-training fail, a 20-year-old woman decided that the appropriate response to her puppy having an accident (see what we did there?) was to turn into a WWE wrestler and then a fast-food condiment dispenser.
Meet La’Myah Rumph, who allegedly went full John Wick on her five-month-old pit bull mix, Nova, after the poor pup did what puppies do—poop where they shouldn’t. But instead of grabbing paper towels and some Febreze like a normal human, Rumph reportedly:
- Grabbed Nova by the neck and suspended her in mid-air (because nothing says “I’m a responsible pet owner” like treating your dog like a piñata).
- Punched the puppy (because, you know, violence solves everything).
- Yeeted Nova into a metal dog crate so hard the door broke (we’re guessing she missed her calling in the shot put).
- Poured hot sauce and pickle juice on the traumatized pup (because if you’re going to abuse an animal, why not make it extra spicy?).
When police arrived, Nova was stiff-legged and struggling to walk—probably wondering if she’d been adopted by the devil’s personal chef.
Rumph, who clearly missed the memo that puppies don’t come pre-trained, was arrested and charged with aggravated animal cruelty. Her bail? A cool $5,000—which, coincidentally, is also the cost of therapy Nova will need after this ordeal.
Pinellas County Animal Control has taken custody of Nova, and we can only hope her next owner has a better temper and doesn’t treat her like a discarded burrito.
Moral of the story? If your puppy ruins your bed, just wash the sheets. Or, you know, don’t get a puppy.