Ah, Florida—where the sun is bright, the beaches are beautiful, and the residents take property defense way too seriously. This week’s winner of the “Most Unhinged Reaction to Kids Fishing” award goes to 59-year-old Donna Elkins of Melbourne, who allegedly decided that two teens casting a line near her yard was an act of war.
The Situation: Fishing Trip or Hostage Crisis?
According to reports, Donna spotted the boys—ages 13 and 15—fishing in what she thought was her backyard. (Spoiler: It wasn’t.) Instead of politely asking them to leave or, you know, not threatening them with a gun, Donna allegedly grabbed what looked like a rifle and went full Florida Man mode.
One of the teens recorded the encounter, where Donna can be heard yelling:
“If someone goes in your backyard, you can blow their f—ing heads off! I have a right to protect my property and my house!”
The terrified teens, clearly not looking to test her marksmanship, responded with a very polite “Yes, ma’am”—because when a woman with a gun tells you she’ll turn you into fish bait, you do not argue.
The Aftermath: “It Was Just a Pellet Gun, LOL”
When deputies arrived, Donna claimed she was just trying to “scare” the kids with a pellet gun. (Because nothing says harmless prank like holding minors at gunpoint and threatening to paint the grass with their brains.)
The teens, meanwhile, were shook. One of them, Brayden, told reporters:
“She was making us get down on the ground and saying, ‘What makes you think you can come on my property?’”
Family members later confirmed the boys weren’t even on her property—just fishing nearby. But hey, in Florida, “close enough” is apparently grounds for an armed standoff.
The Charges: Because Obviously
Donna was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and false imprisonment—because holding kids at gunpoint is generally frowned upon, even in the Sunshine State. She was released on bond the next day, presumably to go home and rethink her life choices.
Florida Lesson of the Day
If you see kids fishing near your yard, maybe just… ask them to leave? Or, if you must go full action movie villain, at least make sure they’re actually trespassing first. Otherwise, you might end up in jail—or, worse, on TalesFromFlorida.com.
Stay safe out there, folks. And maybe invest in a “No Fishing (Or I’ll Shoot)” sign instead.