Because nothing says “Florida Man” like a 65-year-old woman leading cops on a wild chase while waving a gun and blaming the CIA.
Pinellas County deputies thought they were pulling over a routine traffic violator early Tuesday morning. What they got instead was a scene straight out of a Fast & Furious movie—minus the cool cars and Vin Diesel.
Marina DeFilippo, 65, decided that running a red light was just the beginning of her chaotic adventure. After initially stopping for deputies, she suddenly took off like she was in the Daytona 500—flat tires and all—because nothing says “I’m innocent” like fleeing with your car sounding like a washing machine full of rocks.
But wait, it gets better.
Deputies tried to stop her with those spike strips (you know, the ones that usually work), but Marina was apparently driving a Toyota hatchback possessed by the spirit of a NASCAR champion. She kept going, waving a gun out the window like she was in a parade—except the theme was “Felony Charges.”
Then came the grand finale.
After ramming into patrol cars like she was playing Grand Theft Auto: Senior Citizen Edition, deputies brought out the big guns—literally. Seven of them opened fire after she allegedly tried to drive away again, because apparently, she thought her hatchback was secretly a tank.
Oh, and her defense? “The CIA is after me.”
Spoiler alert: They weren’t.
Now, Marina is in critical condition, facing enough charges to fill a Florida Bingo card (Aggravated Assault! Fleeing and Eluding! Aggravated Battery!), while seven deputies are on leave, probably wondering how their Tuesday shift turned into an action movie.
Meanwhile, Florida just nods and says, “Yep. That checks out.”
Stay tuned for the next episode of Florida: Where Reality Outdoes Fiction Every Time.