Sandy Martinez just wanted to live her life, but the city of Lantana had other plans—like charging her more than a luxury car for cracks in her driveway.
The Crimes:
1️⃣ Cracked Driveway – $16,125 (because apparently, gravel is a felony now).
2️⃣ Storm-Damaged Fence – $47,375 (Mother Nature’s wrath + government greed = financial ruin).
3️⃣ Parking on Her Own Grass – $101,750 (because nothing says “justice” like a fine that could buy a house).
The Real Villain?
The city of Lantana, which apparently runs on a business model of “See a violation? Bankrupt a family.”
The Plot Twist:
Sandy fixed all the violations—but the fines kept piling up anyway. When she called code enforcement to check, they ghosted her like a bad Tinder date.
Florida Logic:
🚗 Park on your own lawn? That’ll be $100K.
🏊 Dirty pool? $103K.
🌳 Invasive trees? $250K.
At this rate, breathing without a permit might cost you your firstborn.
The Battle Continues…
Sandy’s now taking her case to the Florida Supreme Court, because if there’s one thing Floridians love, it’s a good fight against ridiculous government overreach.
Moral of the story? In Florida, your driveway cracks could cost more than your mortgage. Stay vigilant, folks.
(Source: TalesFromFlorida.com – because only here does reality out-satire The Onion.)