TalesFromFlorida.com
In the latest installment of Florida Woman Does Florida Things, we bring you the story of Hany Matozes More, a 38-year-old who decided that subtlety is for losers and opted for the flamethrower approach to parenting.
The Plot Thickens (Along With the Gasoline Scent in the Air)
Our story begins like any wholesome family drama—with a custody dispute. After losing custody of her infant daughter (because, allegedly, she decided to use her baby as a prop while vandalizing a motorcycle with her high heels—classy), More was not about to take “no” for an answer.
Instead of, say, hiring a lawyer or attending therapy, she went straight to KinderCare™: Extreme Edition.
The Escalation Timeline (Because Normal People Use Calendars, Florida Women Use Crime Logs)
- New Year’s Eve 2024: More shows up at the daycare like an uninvited party guest. Denied entry.
- January 23: Attempts to Mission Impossible her way into snatching her kid. Foiled again.
- January 29: Discovers her inner James Bond by planting a tracking device in a stuffed animal (because nothing says “motherly love” like covert surveillance).
- January 30: Shows up armed with a butane torch and fire extinguisher (because priorities) and allegedly leaves two backpacks full of gasoline nearby. Subtle.
The WhatsApp Threat That Screamed “I May Have Skipped Parenting Class”
Not content with just showing up like a rejected Disney villain, More allegedly sent an audio message via a family member’s WhatsApp account, threatening to burn the daycare to the ground unless her daughter was returned.
Because nothing says “I’m fit to raise a child” like arson-themed ultimatums.
Meanwhile, Back in Broward County…
This wasn’t More’s first rodeo. Last year, she was arrested for allegedly using her baby as a prop while vandalizing a car and motorcycle—because apparently, infants make great wingmen for late-night crime sprees.
Deputies noted that the baby was “hysterically crying” while More allegedly nearly dropped her multiple times. Parenting goals.
Current Status: Jail (No Bond, No Fire Extinguisher)
More is now sitting in the Palm Beach County Jail, charged with intimidation via electronic threats (and probably wondering why her life choices led her here).
Moral of the story? If you’re going to fight for custody, maybe leave the flamethrower diplomacy at home.
Stay tuned for the next episode of Florida Woman: The Series—coming soon to a mugshot near you.