Ah, Florida. The land of sunshine, beaches, and spectacular decision-making. This week’s edition of Cops Corner delivers yet another masterpiece of logic from the Sunshine State, starring a 43-year-old woman who thought “bad alignment” was a solid excuse for driving like she was in a Fast & Furious movie—minus the talent.
The Setup: A Drunk Driving Masterclass
Multiple concerned citizens called in about a car swerving like it was trying to dodge imaginary traffic cones. Deputies caught up with the suspect, who was definitely not sober—unless “fruity alcoholic beverage smell” is the new car air freshener.
When asked why she was weaving across the road like a Roomba with a death wish, she dropped this gem:
🚗 “It’s not me, officer—my car’s alignment is just REALLY bad.”
Ah yes, because bad alignment famously makes you:
✔️ Swerve into oncoming traffic
✔️ Smell like a margarita factory
✔️ Fail sobriety tests harder than a college student during finals
The Plot Twist: The Great Pill Drop
Things got even better when deputies asked to pat her down. As she reached into her bra (because of course that’s where she kept her cash), she accidentally dropped a bag of pills. Whoopsie!
💊 “Oh, those? Uh… no idea where those came from. Must’ve fallen out of… the sky?”
Deputies, being the patient souls they are, asked if she had a prescription. Her response? Radio silence. Because nothing says “I’m totally innocent” like refusing to answer basic questions while standing next to a bag of mystery meds.
The Grand Finale: Jail
After failing sobriety tests harder than a toddler trying to parallel park, she was hauled off to jail—where, presumably, she spent the night contemplating the real reason her car was misbehaving. (Spoiler: It wasn’t the alignment.)
Moral of the Story
If your car starts driving like it’s possessed, maybe—just maybe—it’s not the alignment. Maybe it’s the fact that you’re three margaritas deep and carrying a pharmacy in your bra.
Stay classy, Florida.