Because nothing says “protecting our skies” like shoving a senior citizen to the ground.
FORT LAUDERDALE, FL — In what can only be described as the most Florida TSA moment ever, a 21-year-old TSA agent at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport decided that her true calling wasn’t checking bags—it was checking an elderly woman into the floor.
According to reports, Janiyah Wilson-Robinson, a fresh-faced agent with a bright future (or at least she had one), allegedly went full WWE on a 79-year-old passenger, forcefully pushing her down like she was auditioning for a role in Die Hard: Airport Boogaloo. The victim, who was just trying to catch a JetBlue flight, ended up with a bruised forehead and probably a newfound fear of airport security.
The Incident:
– Suspect: Janiyah Wilson-Robinson, 21, who clearly missed the TSA memo on “not assaulting grandmas.”
– Victim: A 79-year-old woman who, let’s be real, probably just wanted to get through security without being treated like a carry-on.
– Injury Report: Minor bruising, major disbelief that this is how her vacation started.
– Bond: A cool $1,000, because apparently, shoving seniors is a discounted crime in Florida.
The Aftermath:
The TSA, in a shocking twist, does not condone employees using passengers as human bowling pins. Wilson-Robinson was placed on administrative leave, which we assume means she’s been reassigned to the “Think About What You Did” corner of the airport.
Best Part?
The elderly victim declined a trip to the hospital, opting instead for an ice pack and presumably a stiff drink at the nearest airport bar. Because if there’s one thing Floridians know how to do, it’s shake off absurdity like it’s just another Tuesday.
Moral of the Story:
Next time you fly out of Florida, maybe just… drive. Or swim. Because between this and the Canadian traveler who went full Fight Club at Miami International last year, TSA agents seem to be interpreting “security theater” way too literally.
— TalesFromFlorida.com