Oh Florida, never change.
In the latest episode of “Florida Man vs. Common Sense,” the Sunshine State’s Department of Health decided to take on a new role: TV Ad Police. Their target? A pro-abortion rights ad that dared to suggest Florida’s six-week abortion ban might, you know, cause problems for women with life-threatening pregnancies.
The ad features a woman named Caroline, who was diagnosed with brain cancer during her second pregnancy. Her heartbreaking story includes the line: “Florida has now banned abortions, even in cases like mine.”
Cue the Florida Department of Health, swooping in like a Karen at a HOA meeting, sending cease-and-desist letters to local TV stations, threatening criminal charges if they keep airing the ad. Their argument? “Nuh-uh, our laws totally allow life-saving abortions!” (Spoiler: Doctors and women in crisis might disagree.)
But then, in a plot twist worthy of a daytime soap, FCC Chair Jessica Rosenworcel stepped in like the hero we didn’t know we needed, calling Florida’s threats “dangerous” and reminding everyone that, uh, the First Amendment exists.
Meanwhile, the TV stations? They kept airing the ad because, shockingly, they don’t work for Ron DeSantis.
So now we’re left with the big questions:
– Will Florida start prosecuting weather reports next for saying “it’s hot outside”?
– Is the Department of Health now also the Department of Feelings?
– And most importantly… why does Florida keep doing this to itself?
Stay tuned for the next episode of Florida vs. Reality, coming soon to a ballot near you. 🍿