FORT PIERCE, FL — In a story so Florida it hurts, a 41-year-old mom allegedly suffocated her 6-year-old son because she thought he was possessed by a demon—because, you know, that’s a totally rational thing to do.
Rhonda Joyce Paulynice, who clearly missed the memo on parenting norms, reportedly told deputies that “God” or “Father” (we’re not sure which one, because details are fuzzy when you’re talking to someone who thinks their kid is a demon) told her to handle the situation. So, naturally, she suffocated her son, wrapped him in bedding like a sad burrito, and kept him in the house for TWO WEEKS.
But Wait, It Gets Worse
When school officials realized the kid hadn’t shown up since May 14 (because apparently, nobody noticed a missing child for almost two weeks), they called for a welfare check. Deputies arrived to find Paulynice casually strolling outside, giving them the classic “Oh, him? Uh… he’s around… somewhere?” routine.
Spoiler alert: He was not “around.” He was dead on a mattress, covered in his favorite blanket—because nothing says “loving mom” like suffocating your kid and then tucking him in afterward.
The Cleanest Crime Scene in Florida History
Investigators noted that the house was weirdly spotless, with everything meticulously arranged. Because if you’re going to commit a horrific crime, you might as well keep the place tidy, right?
Paulynice later admitted she checked on her son’s corpse daily, hoping he’d magically come back to life. Because, again, that’s how biology works.
Charges Include: Being the Worst
She’s now facing charges of second-degree murder, failure to report a death (because two weeks is totally a reasonable delay), and tampering with a dead body.
And thus, another Florida Woman has secured her place in the hall of fame—right next to the lady who fought a McDonald’s employee over ranch dressing and the guy who tried to pay for gas with a live alligator.
Stay classy, Florida.