Because of course it’s Florida.
In a tale so wild it could only come from the Sunshine State, a homeless Florida man was arrested this week for allegedly plotting to blow up the New York Stock Exchange—because apparently, he thought Wall Street needed a hard reset.
Meet Harun Abdul-Malik Yener, the latest Florida Man contender for Most Creative Attempt to Get the FBI’s Attention. According to court documents, Yener wasn’t just talking about explosives—oh no. He had notebooks filled with sketches of missiles, land mines, and DIY bombs, because nothing says “I’m a stable genius” like doodling destruction in a spiral-bound journal.
The FBI first caught wind of Yener when they got a tip that he was storing bomb-making blueprints in a Coral Springs storage unit. When agents searched it, they found enough sketchy electronics and volatile chemicals to make MacGyver very concerned. Yener reportedly told them he was waiting for the right moment to strike—like a villain in a low-budget action movie who monologues before the hero kicks in the door.
But here’s where it gets extra Florida: Yener thought he was recruiting accomplices to help him pull off the attack. Spoiler alert—they were all undercover FBI agents.
In October, Yener took an FBI agent (posing as a fellow revolutionary) on a field trip to Walmart to buy bomb-making supplies—because nothing screams “covert terror plot” like grabbing a soldering iron next to the Halloween candy. He then allegedly declared the NYSE his perfect target, claiming it would inspire others to rise up against… checks notes… the stock market?
By November, Yener was recording a manifesto (because every self-respecting villain needs one) and planned to send it to NBC News after the bombing. His big message? “This was just the beginning of a new revolution!”
Plot twist: The only thing that got blown up was his own plan when the FBI arrested him before he could hit detonate.
Yener now faces charges for attempting to use an explosive—which, let’s be honest, is just Florida Man’s version of a failed startup.
Stay tuned for the inevitable Netflix documentary.