By TalesFromFlorida.com Staff
FORT LAUDERDALE, FL — In what might be the worst pickup line in aviation history, a 70-year-old Florida man allegedly tried to spark a romantic connection at the airport by joking about his carry-on being a ticking time bomb. Spoiler: It did not land smoothly.
Alan Borinsky, a Miami resident with the comedic timing of a delayed flight, was sitting at Gate G11 in Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport when he decided to drop a literal bombshell on a fellow traveler. According to witnesses, Borinsky turned to another passenger and casually said, “If the bomb in my bag goes off prematurely, I apologize to your family in advance.”
Because nothing says “Hey, let’s grab a drink at Chili’s Too” like implying you might accidentally detonate Terminal 4.
Unsurprisingly, the two witnesses nearby did not find this joke explosive in a good way. Instead of laughing, they did what any sane person would do—alerted authorities faster than a TSA agent spotting a half-full water bottle.
Borinsky later told police he was just “trying to be funny” and “flirt.” Because, you know, nothing gets the romance flowing like felony charges.
He was arrested and hit with a second-degree felony for making a false bomb threat—because even in Florida, airport security doesn’t appreciate stand-up comedy that could shut down a runway. Borinsky pleaded not guilty and was released on a $7,500 bond, proving that love (or at least bad jokes) isn’t cheap.
Moral of the story? If you’re looking to shoot your shot at 30,000 feet, maybe stick to “Is this seat taken?” and leave the “I might be a terrorist” bit at home.
Stay tuned for more Florida Man adventures, where the pickup lines are criminal and the mugshots are legendary.