ORLANDO, Fla. — Another day, another Florida Man making headlines for all the wrong (but somehow predictable) reasons. This time, a 30-year-old gentleman named Makence St. Hilaire decided that a simple Walmart run wasn’t exciting enough—so he turned it into a full-blown kidnapping thriller.
According to the Orange County Sheriff’s Office, St. Hilaire allegedly followed his child and the child’s mother into the store, fired a gun (because nothing says “family bonding” like discharging a firearm near the cereal aisle), and then forced them into a car like he was starring in Fast & Furious: Diaper Heist.
Thankfully, the victims were unharmed and later released, but not before St. Hilaire racked up charges including attempted murder, aggravated assault with a firearm, and kidnapping—because why commit just one crime when you can go for the felony trifecta?
Authorities confirmed the incident was “domestic in nature,” which in Florida terms means it was just another Tuesday. Deputies also assured the public there was “no threat to the community,” probably because Florida Man antics like this are basically background noise at this point.
So next time you’re at Walmart debating between Great Value or name-brand chips, just remember—some people are out there turning their shopping trips into crime sprees. Stay vigilant, folks. And maybe avoid the Semoran Boulevard location for a while.