Flagler County, FL — Move over, Fast & Furious, because Florida Man just redefined “high-speed chase” in the most Florida way possible.
Deputies in Flagler County were left scratching their heads (and probably stifling laughter) when 33-year-old Kyle McNary decided to flee from the law at a blistering 1 to 3 miles per hour. That’s right—this wasn’t a chase; it was more like a slow-motion parade with flashing lights.
The saga began when McNary allegedly kicked his passenger out of the car, sideswiped another vehicle, and then… well, attempted to make a getaway. But instead of burning rubber, he opted for what witnesses described as a “snail’s pace” escape.
One deputy radioed in what might be the most hilarious pursuit update ever: “Yeah, we’re doing about 130 [mph], and he’s pulling away from us.” (Spoiler: He was not pulling away. At all.)
Sheriff Rick Staly, a man who has seen some things, called it “possibly the slowest chase in Flagler County Sheriff’s Office history.” At one point, McNary was doing circles through intersections like a confused golf cart with an identity crisis.
Deputies, possibly fighting the urge to just walk up and tap on his window, eventually used stop sticks to flatten his tires—because, you know, they had to stop him from going too slow.
When McNary finally pulled over (or, more accurately, stopped barely moving), deputies arrested him while politely reminding him to “keep your hands up, bud.”
Now, McNary faces charges including fleeing from police—though we’re pretty sure “fleeing” should be downgraded to “meandering suspiciously.”
Moral of the story? If you’re going to run from the cops in Florida, at least make it entertaining. And maybe bring a bicycle next time. 🚲💨