Oh, Florida. Just when you think you’ve seen it all, someone decides to up the ante—by leaving severed cat heads in a cardboard box on a mailbox. Because apparently, regular junk mail just wasn’t disturbing enough.
Meet Robert Luther III, the latest contestant in Florida Man’s Greatest Hits: Crimes Against Common Sense. According to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office, this 37-year-old genius allegedly decapitated two poor, innocent cats and then—because subtlety is overrated—placed their heads in a box like some kind of horror movie Amazon delivery.
Deputies didn’t even need Sherlock-level detective skills to crack this one. Nope. They just checked license plate readers and—wait for it—cell phone videos where Luther was allegedly caught chatting about his feline felony like it was a podcast episode.
Sheriff Carmine Marceno called the act “heinous” (duh) and promised “severe consequences.” Luther now faces two counts of aggravated animal cruelty and two counts of aggravated stalking—because apparently, decapitating cats wasn’t enough drama for one week.
Moral of the story? If you’re going to commit crimes in Florida, maybe don’t film yourself talking about them. And definitely don’t leave evidence on top of a mailbox like a deranged Santa Claus.
Stay weird, Florida. Stay weird.