Because nothing says “Florida” like a senior citizen getting assaulted by a dude who clearly didn’t think his plan through.
The Scene: A peaceful evening at HarborChase Assisted Living. A 90-year-old woman is just trying to enjoy her Jeopardy! reruns when—BAM!—Deriko Hill, 26, decides to make an uninvited appearance.
The Fail: Instead of, you know, not breaking into a senior living facility, Hill allegedly exposed himself to the woman mid-game show. Because nothing says “romantic gesture” like interrupting Final Jeopardy with a felony.
The Struggle: Granny wasn’t having it. When Hill allegedly pushed her to the ground, she fought back like a true Florida senior—probably armed with a cane and a lifetime of “I’ve had enough of this nonsense.”
The Exit: After realizing he messed up (shocking), Hill reportedly muttered, “I’m sorry, ma’am,” before fleeing. Because nothing smooths over an attempted crime like a half-hearted apology.
The Arrest: Cops later found Hill lurking around another senior facility (because why stop at one?), and now he’s facing charges that include “Burglary with Extra Awful” and “Battery on a Person Who Could Be Your Grandma.”
The Lesson: If you’re going to commit crimes in Florida, maybe don’t target the generation that survived World Wars and disco. They will end you.
(Stay tuned for more Florida Man antics, because this state never disappoints.)