Oh, Florida. Just when you think you’ve heard it all, the Sunshine State delivers another jaw-dropping tale that makes you question humanity—or at least the quality of true-crime TV among the elderly.
This time, the suspect isn’t some reckless spring chicken. Nope. Meet Miroslav Maksic, 88, who allegedly decided retirement wasn’t exciting enough and opted for a DIY crime scene makeover instead.
The Plot Thickens (But Not Very Well)
According to North Port police, officers rolled up to a home on Halladay Street after getting a call about a possible suicide. But here’s the thing—when detectives and the medical examiner took a closer look, they quickly realized this wasn’t a case of “Goodbye, Cruel World.” More like “Goodbye, Wife, and Hello, Terrible Cover-Up.”
Spoiler Alert: The staging was about as convincing as a Florida man trying to pass off a gator as a ‘service animal.’
The Big Oops
Police aren’t spilling the exact cause of death (yet), but let’s just say if you’re gonna fake a suicide, maybe don’t leave behind evidence that screams “I definitely didn’t do this to myself.”
Miroslav now faces one count of homicide and is chilling in the Sarasota County Jail—no bond, because apparently, judges aren’t fans of octogenarians moonlighting as wannabe crime scene directors.
What the Chief Said (Because Even Cops Are Shook)
North Port Police Chief Todd Garrison called it a “tragic situation” (duh) but gave a shoutout to investigators for seeing through the “this was totally a suicide, trust me” act.
Meanwhile, the rest of us are left wondering: What’s next in Florida’s Greatest Hits? An 90-year-old bank heist? A centenarian smuggling flamingos in a walker?
Stay tuned, folks. Because in Florida, the only thing predictable is the unpredictability.
(Miroslav Maksic’s mugshot courtesy of Sarasota County Jail—because even at 88, you still get that glamorous booking photo.)