Because of course it’s Florida.
In a move that would make even the most dedicated carnivore raise an eyebrow, a Miami man has been arrested for pulling off what can only be described as the most Florida crime of the year: stealing a trailer packed with $100,000 worth of frozen bacon.
That’s right, folks. 192 pounds of crispy, sizzling, breakfast gold, snatched right from under the noses of unsuspecting Daytona Beach parking lot security.
The Great Pork-napping
According to police, 40-year-old Marcos Gonzalez-Bernal (who we can only assume has a very strong love for BLTs) swiped a 53-foot refrigerated semi-trailer back in September. Surveillance footage allegedly shows him and his trusty blue SUV scoping out the scene like a bacon bandit in the night.
But here’s the kicker—he didn’t even get to enjoy his haul. Detectives tracked him down using license plate readers (because nothing says “high-stakes crime” like a refrigerated meat trailer) and found the stolen goods chilling (literally) in Miami-Dade.
Bacon Behind Bars
When Gonzalez-Bernal faced a judge, his bond was set at $30,000—which, if you do the math, is roughly 30 cents per slice of his ill-gotten bacon.
Now, we’re left with the burning questions:
– Was this a one-man operation, or did he have a secret breakfast syndicate?
– Did he plan to black-market the bacon, or was this just a really intense personal craving?
– And most importantly—how does one even fence $100K in stolen pork?
Only in Florida does a crime this deliciously absurd happen.
Stay tuned for updates—because if there’s one thing we know, it’s that Florida Man always finds a way to outdo himself. 🥓🚔