Because nothing says “Florida” like drunken backyard target practice gone horribly wrong.
A DeLand family got an unexpected home renovation Sunday afternoon—courtesy of their neighbor’s very questionable marksmanship. According to the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office, bullets suddenly started peppering their house, sending the whole family diving for cover like they were in an action movie.
The Scene:
– Victims: Hiding in the bathroom, probably questioning every life choice that led them to Florida.
– Shooter: Alex Kudlack, 38, who was allegedly sober as a judge (just kidding—he was drunk).
– Target: A completely innocent tree in his backyard. (The tree is reportedly traumatized but unharmed.)
When deputies arrived, Kudlack didn’t even try to lie. He just shrugged and admitted, “Yeah, I’m a dumb*.”
Charges Include:
✔ Shooting into a house (not the tree)
✔ Playing with guns while drunk (Florida Man Classic)
✔ Endangering children (because nothing says “responsible adult” like bullets flying near kids)
✔ Criminal mischief (for ruining everyone’s peaceful Sunday)
Moral of the Story: If you’re going to shoot at a tree, maybe don’t do it after a six-pack. Or better yet—just don’t shoot at trees at all.
(Stay safe, Florida. And maybe invest in bulletproof siding.)