Because only in Florida does a door become a mortal enemy.
In a tragic yet bizarre turn of events, a Florida man has officially lost a battle against… a door. That’s right, folks. Not an alligator, not a meth-fueled hoverboard chase, not even a flamingo with a grudge—just a regular, everyday door.
The incident occurred at Seminole Masonry, where the man was reportedly minding his own business (or possibly not, because Florida) when the door decided it had had enough. Authorities say the door “fell on him,” which is either the most unfortunate workplace accident ever or the start of a Final Destination reboot.
First responders rushed the man to the hospital, but alas, the door emerged victorious. Seminole County officials later confirmed the man’s passing, leaving us all to wonder: Was this door possessed? Was it a rogue Home Depot reject? Did it have a personal vendetta?
As is tradition with Florida Man stories, the details are sparse but the questions are endless. Did the door attack unprovoked? Was there a failed negotiation? Did the man owe it money? We may never know.
For now, we mourn the loss of another Florida Man—taken too soon, not by hurricanes or gators or even a meth explosion, but by the silent killer lurking in every home improvement store.
Stay vigilant, friends. Doors are out here playing for keeps.