TalesFromFlorida.com Exclusive
PALM COAST, FL – An 81-year-old Florida woman just discovered that being a senior citizen doesn’t grant you immunity from the law—especially when you decide to turn a speeding ticket into a full-blown WWE smackdown with deputies.
Joyce Adams, who apparently missed the memo that “Florida Man” energy isn’t restricted by age, was pulled over for doing 54 in a 35 mph zone. But instead of playing the sweet old lady card, she went full Cursing Karen mode, dropping F-bombs like she was auditioning for a Tarantino movie.
The Incident:
– Cop: “Ma’am, I need you to step out for a sobriety test.”
– Joyce: slaps officer “Get your fing hands off me, motherfer!”
– Also Joyce: “I’m too old to be arrested!” (Spoiler: She was not.)
Bodycam footage (which we can only assume is now being studied by anthropologists as peak Florida behavior) shows Adams swinging at deputies with her car key wedged between her fingers like some kind of geriatric Wolverine. Her son, John, showed up mid-meltdown to defend her with the classic “Those beer cans in the back? Mine. From weeks ago.” Sure, buddy.
The Charges:
– Resisting arrest with violence (because slapping cops counts).
– Battery on a law enforcement officer (see above).
– Aggravated assault (for the key claws, obviously).
At one point, Adams demanded an ambulance, possibly realizing that “I’m too old for this” works better in movies than in real life. Deputies, unfazed by her Golden Girls-meets-Scarface routine, calmly informed her that she had, in fact, just earned herself extra charges. Her response? “Oh, good.”
Final Lesson:
If you’re going to argue with Florida cops, maybe don’t do it while your car is full of open beer cans and your fists are legally classified as weapons. Just a thought.
(Flagler County Sheriff’s Office confirms that yes, even 81-year-olds can catch a case in the Sunshine State.)