MULBERRY, FL – Move over, Bonnie and Clyde. There’s a new criminal duo in town, and they’re bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase “dirty money.”
Polk County deputies are on the hunt for two suspects—affectionately dubbed “Mr. Clean” and “Ms. Dookie”—after they pulled off a questionably strategic heist at a Family Dollar.
Here’s the breakdown of their master plan:
- Step One: Load up a shopping cart with $500 worth of cleaning supplies (because nothing says “sophisticated crime” like stealing Tide Pods).
- Step Two: Have your accomplice drop trou and relieve herself right on the store floor—because nothing distracts employees like an impromptu public restroom.
- Step Three: Make a swift getaway in a white van (likely smelling like a mix of desperation and Febreze).
Deputies say the poor store employee had to clean up the mess—ironic, considering the stolen loot was literally cleaning products.
Authorities are now asking the public for help identifying the suspects. If you spot a suspiciously fresh-smelling man and a woman who clearly doesn’t believe in bathrooms, you’re encouraged to call Polk County Sheriff’s Office.
Pro Tip: If you’re going to commit a crime, maybe don’t leave behind DNA evidence in the form of… well, you know.
Stay classy, Florida.