TalesFromFlorida.com – Because only in the Sunshine State does a former Mexican “supercop” and his wife get hit with a bill that makes your HOA fees look like pocket change.
The Plot Thicker Than a Cartel’s Safe Wall
Genaro Garcia Luna, the guy who was supposed to be fighting drug cartels, was instead taking bribes like they were complimentary chips and salsa. And not just small bribes—we’re talking millions stuffed in suitcases, duffel bags, and (allegedly) a French restaurant across from the U.S. Embassy. Because nothing says “discreet corruption” like a croissant and a briefcase full of dirty money.
But Florida wasn’t having it. A court just ordered Garcia Luna and his wife, Linda Cristina Pereyra, to pay $2.4 BILLION to Mexico. That’s right—billion with a B, as in “Better start selling those beachfront properties, Linda.”
How Did We Get Here?
- Step 1: Garcia Luna, Mexico’s former top cop, took bribes from the Sinaloa Cartel (the same folks who brought you El Chapo’s Wild Ride).
- Step 2: He moved to Florida (because where else do shady ex-officials retire?) and started winning more government contracts.
- Step 3: The U.S. arrested him, Mexico sued him, and now he’s serving 38 years in prison while his wife owes $1.74 billion (which is roughly the GDP of a small island nation).
The Florida Twist
Of course, this all went down in Florida, where the only thing wilder than the crime is the punishment. The court didn’t just order them to pay—they tripled Mexico’s original request. That’s like ordering a small coffee and getting a swimming pool-sized iced latte instead.
And the best part? They’ve already seized some assets, including a company and real estate. So if you see a “Former Supercop’s Mansion – Fire Sale!” sign in Miami, you know why.
Moral of the Story
If you’re going to take bribes from a drug cartel, maybe don’t move to Florida, where the courts will hit you with a bill so big even Scrooge McDuck would faint.
Stay shady, Florida. Stay shady.