TAMPA, Fla. – Move over, Pirates of the Caribbean, because Florida just delivered its own high-seas drama—minus the charm, plus a whole lot of yelling.
A viral video has surfaced of a Florida charter captain, Brock Horner, who apparently missed the memo that calm seas make for smooth sailing. Instead, he decided to go full Florida Man on a 22-year-old fisherman, Gage Towles, under the Barron Collier Bridge.
“I’m the Best Charter Captain You Will Ever Meet!”
The showdown started when Horner, seemingly convinced he was auditioning for Deadliest Catch: Tampa Bay Edition, pulled up to Towles’ boat and demanded to know if he’d been cussed out the other morning.
Towles, probably wondering if he’d accidentally wandered onto a reality TV set, denied it. But Horner wasn’t having it.
Horner: “You need to have your lights on at night!”
Towles: “Bro, you can’t come flying through the middle of the f—— bridge!”
Horner: “Bulls—-, yes I can!”
At this point, it was clear we were dealing with a man who either (A) thought maritime laws were optional or (B) had just watched Speed 2: Cruise Control one too many times.
The Moment Things Went Full Florida
Horner then decided to board Towles’ boat like he was claiming it for the British Empire. Towles, understandably freaking out, could only watch as Captain Yell-a-Lot took center stage.
Horner (probably flexing): “I’m the best charter captain you will ever meet!”
Towles (internally): “Not the flex you think it is, dude.”
The whole thing ended with Towles apologizing and helping Horner back to his own boat—because nothing says “Florida conflict resolution” like diffusing a situation by saying “sorry” to the guy who just invaded your personal space.
Authorities Are Investigating
Unsurprisingly, Punta Gorda police, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, and the U.S. Coast Guard are now looking into this Master and Commander remake.
Horner’s attorney later released a statement saying, “Brock is not proud of how he acted. But it’s important to remember: we are not the sum of our worst day.”
Translation: “He’s usually only 80% this unhinged.”
Towles, meanwhile, posted the video to YouTube with a caption saying he “never wanted to post this video… because it made me feel so weak.” But hey, if there’s one thing Floridians love, it’s a good public meltdown—especially when it happens on the water.
Moral of the Story?
If you’re ever on a boat in Florida and someone starts screaming about being “the best charter captain you will ever meet,” maybe just nod, smile, and slowly back away.
Or, you know, call the Coast Guard. Either works.