Because nothing says “I’m sorry I left you at the bar” like a steak knife to the ear.
PALM COAST, Fla. – In a shocking display of “hold my beer and watch this,” a Florida woman decided that a simple argument wasn’t dramatic enough—so she escalated things to “let’s turn this into a scene from an action movie.”
According to the Flagler County Sheriff’s Office, 34-year-old Daileen Keller was arrested after allegedly attacking a man with three steak knives and a bottle opener—because apparently, one knife just wasn’t going to cut it (pun absolutely intended).
How It All Went Down (Literally)
The victim told deputies that the whole mess started when he left Keller at a bar because he was ready to go home, and she… wasn’t. (Rookie mistake, dude. Never leave a Florida woman behind unless you’re prepared for the consequences.)
Later that night, things took a sharp turn when Keller allegedly grabbed the nearest weapons—AKA dinnerware—and went full-on John Wick on him.
- First Move: She threw a steak knife at him while he hid behind a chair. (Spoiler: Chairs are not bulletproof.)
- Second Move: When he tried to disarm her, she stabbed him in the forearm with a bottle opener—because why use your words when you can use a tool meant for opening beers?
- Final Boss Move: As he tried to flee (smart man), she lobbed two more knives at him, hitting him in the back and the ear. (At this point, we’re just impressed with her aim.)
When deputies arrived, they found the poor guy bleeding from multiple wounds—because nothing says “Florida romance” like puncture wounds and lacerations.
The Aftermath
Keller was arrested and booked into the Flagler County Jail on charges of aggravated battery and domestic battery, with a bond set at $12,500. (That’s a lot of steak knives.)
Moral of the Story?
If you’re going to leave someone at a bar in Florida, maybe don’t meet up with them later unless you’re wearing Kevlar.
Stay safe out there, folks. And maybe invest in some plastic cutlery.