By TalesFromFlorida.com
ORLANDO, FL — In a move that shocked absolutely no one, a Florida man decided that the Florida Mall was the perfect place to test his gun-handling skills. Spoiler alert: It did not go well.
According to the Orange County Sheriff’s Office, a man in his 20s accidentally shot himself while “adjusting his gun” in the middle of the mall. Because, you know, nothing says “casual shopping trip” like an impromptu game of Will It Shoot?
Deputies confirmed the man was the only one injured—because apparently, he was the only one reckless enough to treat a crowded mall like a Wild West saloon. He was rushed to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries, but his pride? Fatally wounded.
The Sheriff’s Office took to Twitter to clarify:
“ALERT: Reports of a shooting at the Florida Mall are unfounded. There was an accidental discharge of a firearm and the only person injured is the person who was handling the firearm.”
Translation: “No, there wasn’t a shootout at the food court. Just one guy who played himself—literally.”
This incident raises some very important questions:
- Why was he adjusting his gun in the mall? Was it slipping out of his waistband while he was trying on Crocs?
- What was he shopping for? A new holster? A first-aid kit? A basic gun safety course?
- How does this keep happening in Florida? At this point, we should just replace the state motto with “Hold My Beer (And My Gun).”
Moral of the story? If you’re going to carry a firearm, maybe don’t treat it like a fidget spinner. And if you must adjust your weapon, do it before you enter the Disney Store.
Stay safe, Florida. Or at least try.