TAMPA, FL — Only in Florida does a man steal a $100,000+ Tesla Cybertruck during a test drive, ghost the dealership for days, and then casually stroll back in like, “Hey, just here to grab my stuff, no biggie.”
Meet Dexter Smithen, the latest Florida Man to make us question whether the state’s water supply is secretly laced with pure, unfiltered chaos.
The Heist (Kind Of)
On March 26, Smithen walked into a Tesla dealership in Tampa, handed over his real driver’s license (rookie move, honestly), and signed a test-drive agreement promising to return the Cybertruck in 30 minutes.
Spoiler alert: He did not return in 30 minutes.
Instead, he vanished like a dad going out for milk—except instead of milk, he took a Cyberbeast (the top-tier Cybertruck model, because if you’re gonna commit grand theft auto, you might as well go big).
The Hunt for the Missing Cybertruck
After realizing their shiny futuristic truck was MIA, Tesla employees did what any of us would do: stalked the Cybertruck’s GPS.
Turns out, Smithen had taken his new “borrowed” ride to a Home Depot—possibly to pick up some tools for his new life as a fugitive? (We’ll never know.)
A Tesla employee filmed Smithen casually strolling through the parking lot like he wasn’t driving a stolen vehicle worth more than most people’s houses. The Cybertruck was recovered, but Smithen? Gone again.
The Boldest Move of All
Most criminals would lay low after stealing a six-figure vehicle. Not Dexter.
Five days later, he returned to the Tesla dealership—yes, the same one he stole from—to collect his belongings that he’d left in the Cybertruck.
That’s right. This man really said, “I may be a thief, but I’m not leaving my phone charger behind.”
Deputies arrested him on the spot. And in a twist that surprises no one, they found five credit cards with five different names in his possession. Because why commit one crime when you can commit several?
The Charges
Smithen now faces:
– Grand theft (because a Cybertruck isn’t exactly a pack of gum)
– Unlawful possession of personal identification (those credit cards weren’t his, shocker)
Meanwhile, Tesla employees are probably updating their test-drive policies to include “No, seriously, bring it back.”
Moral of the story? If you’re gonna steal a car in Florida, maybe don’t come back for your stuff. Just cut your losses and start fresh.
(But also, maybe don’t steal cars. Just a thought.)