Because of course this happened in Florida.
Putnam County deputies arrived at a home Sunday evening to find a scene that could only be described as peak Florida—a naked man had allegedly broken into a house, cut himself climbing through a window, and then, in a rare moment of modesty, decided to put on underwear before refusing to leave.
Meet Keeton Mercier, 24, who clearly missed the memo that home invasions usually require clothes and not leaving blood all over the kitchen like a rejected Saw movie extra.
The Crime: A Masterclass in Poor Life Choices
- Step 1: Break into a house completely naked (because why not?).
- Step 2: Cut yourself on broken glass (because Florida Man never checks for safety hazards).
- Step 3: Put on underwear (but only underwear, because pants are overrated).
- Step 4: Refuse to leave (because commitment is key).
- Step 5: Get arrested for burglary and an outstanding warrant for strangulation (because multitasking is important).
The Aftermath: A Florida Man Classic
Deputies found pools of blood (dramatic), broken glass (messy), and glass pipes (because nothing says “I’m here to steal your TV” like a side of meth).
Mercier was taken to the hospital—not just for his injuries, but because he was reportedly acting extra Florida (read: probably high). After that, it was off to jail, where he’s currently being held without bond, because judges have zero patience for naked home invaders with strangulation warrants.
Bonus Florida Points:
✅ Previous battery conviction (2022)
✅ Aggravated battery by strangulation warrant (January 2025)
✅ Bloody kitchen crime scene (aesthetic)
✅ Refusal to exit (commitment to the bit)
Moral of the story? If you’re going to commit crimes in Florida, maybe wear pants. Just a thought.
(Source: Putnam County Sheriff’s Office, because reality is stranger than fiction.)