Because why run when you can trot dramatically through traffic?
JACKSONVILLE, FL—Move over, The Fast and the Furious, because Florida Man just rewrote the script—The Slow and the Equine.
Meet Jordan Wilson, 25, who allegedly decided that the best way to evade cops after a shady drug handoff was not a car, not a bike, but a full-blown horseback escape. That’s right—this modern-day outlaw went full Red Dead Redemption in the middle of Jacksonville traffic.
Officer Cassie Haire, mounted on Police Service Horse Nash (who deserves a raise, by the way), was not about to let this Wild West reenactment slide. The chase was on—hooves pounding pavement, traffic lights ignored, and probably at least one confused Uber driver wondering if they’d accidentally time-traveled to 1885.
For a glorious quarter-mile, Wilson clung to the hope that his majestic steed would outrun the long arm of the law. Spoiler: It did not.
In the end, Wilson surrendered—likely realizing that trying to outrun a cop on another horse is a level of ridiculous even Florida Man can’t justify. He was arrested and charged with resisting an officer without violence, which honestly feels unfair to the horse, who clearly put in the most effort.
Moral of the story? If you’re going to commit crimes in Florida, maybe don’t do it in a way that turns you into a meme before the cops even cuff you.