Because nothing says “Florida” like a naked dude beating a golfer to death with his own 9-iron.
PALM BEACH GARDENS, FL — Golf is supposed to be a relaxing sport. You know, fresh air, gentle swings, maybe a cold beer at the turn. But for one unlucky golfer at Sandhill Crane Golf Club, his round turned into a scene straight out of Final Destination: Florida Edition—thanks to a naked man with a grudge and a golf club.
The Incident: When a Bad Day on the Green Gets Worse
Brian Hiltebeitel, 65, was just trying to enjoy a peaceful Monday afternoon on the course when Junior Boucher, 36, decided to turn the first hole into a crime scene. According to witnesses, Boucher—who had no business being there—allegedly picked up Hiltebeitel’s own golf clubs and started swinging… but not at the ball.
Hiltebeitel reportedly screamed, “He’s trying to kill me!” as Boucher chased him down like a deranged caddy from hell. The victim made a run for it, but Boucher allegedly caught up, bashed him in the head with a club, then chased him into a pond like a scene from Jaws, but with more nudity.
The Aftermath: Naked and Afraid (But Mostly Just Naked)
Once Boucher finished his impromptu WWE-style beatdown in the water, he decided the best course of action was to strip completely naked—because Florida. Police arrived to find Boucher sprinting away in his birthday suit, looking less like a suspect and more like a rejected Baywatch extra.
Officers tased him (because obviously), and he was arrested while Hiltebeitel’s body was pulled from the pond. The victim had “multiple deep lacerations”—which, in layman’s terms, means Boucher went full Happy Gilmore on him, minus the comedy.
The Motive: ¯_(ツ)_/¯
Police have no idea why Boucher did this. No connection between the two. No prior beef. Just a random, brutal attack that turned a golf course into a Saw sequel.
Chief Dominick Pape summed it up perfectly: “This appears to be a random act of violence where Boucher used the victim’s golf clubs as weapons and viciously attacked the victim, ultimately killing him.”
Translation: Florida Man saw a golf club and thought, “Why hit balls when I can hit people?”
Boucher’s Résumé: Not Exactly Employee of the Month
Turns out, Boucher has a history of domestic battery and drug charges, so this wasn’t his first rodeo with the law. His family had even reported him missing an hour before the attack, which, in hindsight, was probably a red flag.
Final Score: Murder 1, Common Sense 0
Boucher is now sitting in jail without bond, probably wondering why he didn’t just take up tennis instead. Meanwhile, golfers everywhere are rethinking their choice of sport—or at least investing in stab-proof polo shirts.
Stay safe out there, Florida. And maybe avoid ponds.