Florida’s Attorney General, James Uthmeier, is really concerned about who’s changing clothes where—so concerned, in fact, that he’s threatening a private gym for checks notes letting trans folks use the locker room that matches their gender.
But here’s the kicker: Florida’s bathroom law doesn’t even apply to private businesses. Oops.
In a letter dripping with misplaced outrage, Uthmeier warned Life Time Fitness that allowing “men posing as women” in the women’s locker room was clearly a danger to society. (Because nothing screams “public safety crisis” like someone minding their own business while changing into gym shorts.)
The AG’s legal argument? Well… there isn’t one. He didn’t cite any actual Florida laws—just a bunch of fearmongering news stories about unrelated incidents. (Classic Florida Man logic: “I saw a scary headline once, so now I make policy.”)
Meanwhile, the ACLU of Florida was like, “Uh, dude, the law only applies to public spaces—schools, prisons, government buildings. Not your local treadmill palace.”
But did that stop Uthmeier? Nope. He doubled down, claiming the Florida Civil Rights Act protects women’s spaces—except the law doesn’t mention locker rooms, bathrooms, or even gender identity. (Someone get this man a legal dictionary.)
The gym, probably exhausted by Florida’s never-ending culture war circus, caved and said they’d comply—while still “welcoming all members.” Translation: We’ll pretend to care about your nonsense while rolling our eyes behind your back.
So congrats, Florida! Your tax dollars are hard at work—fighting the real enemy: people just trying to work out in peace. 🏋️♀️💀
Originally published on TalesFromFlorida.com.