Because nothing says “Get off my lawn!” like unloading five rounds into a dairy cow.
NORTH FORT MYERS, Fla. — Move over, Old West. Florida Man is here to prove that the Wild West never died—it just relocated to the Sunshine State. In a bizarre case of bovine betrayal, Hung M. Trinh of North Fort Myers decided that the best way to handle a wandering cow was to turn it into Swiss cheese.
According to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office, Trinh was arrested and charged with animal cruelty and grand theft of a commercial farm animal. (Yes, apparently cows count as “commercial farm animals,” which means this wasn’t just a crime—it was a business crime.)
The drama unfolded when the cow’s owner found his 2-year-old bovine buddy suffering from five gunshot wounds on Trinh’s property. A vet later determined the poor thing had to be put down, because apparently, cows don’t respond well to being used for target practice.
Neighbors say Trinh had been moo-ving toward violence for a while, previously threatening to shoot any livestock that dared to hop his fence. And when deputies searched his place? Surprise, surprise—they found a firearm. (Shocking, we know.)
So let’s recap:
- Cow: Just vibing, maybe looking for grass.
- Florida Man: “Not on my watch.” (Cocks shotgun.)
- Sheriff’s Office: “Sir, this is not the OK Corral.”
Trinh now faces charges, while the rest of us are left wondering if this was really about property lines… or just Florida Man’s desperate need to live out his cowboy fantasies.
Stay tuned for the next episode of Florida: Where Logic Goes to Die. 🐄🔫