Move over, rap beefs—there’s a new showdown in town, and it’s between a Florida woman and the Alachua County Sheriff’s Office. And let’s just say, neither side is backing down.
Round 1: The Sheriff’s Office Drops the Mic (or the Warrant)
It all started when the Alachua County Sheriff’s Office posted a very official-looking wanted poster on Facebook for 27-year-old Kwanteria “Panky” Alizeyh Richardson. The charge? Aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.
But instead of laying low, Richardson decided to clap back in the most Florida way possible. She shared the post with the legendary caption:
“Shidddd I ain’t hard to find…do ya job.”
Oh. Oh no. She did NOT just say that.
Round 2: The Sheriff’s Office Comes Back with Flames (and Emojis)
Not to be outdone, the sheriff’s office fired back with a since-deleted Facebook reply that was pure gold:
“Eyyyy Alizeyh Richardson low key, you ate that! Lucky for you, we are use to those who play ‘hard to get.’ Real talk, be our Valentine. Slide into our DM’s and we will pick you up in a custom green and white whip. We have jewelry that will fit your wrists perfectly and we have already reserved the best bed and breakfast in town. See you soon.”
Translation: “We see you, girl. And we got matching bracelets waiting for you.”
Round 3: Richardson Doubles Down
But Panky wasn’t done. She reportedly hit back with:
“Y’all mad, now come get me.”
And then corrected the sheriff’s office’s low-key compliment with:
“High key ate.”
Because if you’re gonna roast the cops, you might as well make sure they know you won.
The Aftermath: Still at Large (and Still Savage)
As of now, Richardson remains un-cuffed, proving that while the sheriff’s office may have the badges, she’s got the clapbacks.
Moral of the story? If you’re gonna taunt law enforcement on social media, at least make it entertaining for the rest of us.
Stay tuned for the next episode of Florida Woman vs. The System—coming soon to a Facebook near you.