Because Florida, that’s why.
Alright, folks, gather ‘round for another installment of Florida Woman Does Florida Things™, and this one is… well, let’s just say it’s not the kind of meet-cute you’d see in a rom-com.
The Setup: A Funeral (Yes, Really)
Ayla Gonzalez Salinas, 20, allegedly met a boy (who was between 12 and 16, because apparently that’s a range now) at—wait for it—a funeral. Because nothing says “let’s get to know each other” like grieving together, right?
But instead of exchanging condolences and moving on with their lives, Salinas reportedly slid into the kid’s DMs like, “Hey, sorry about your loss… wanna Netflix and definitely not chill?”
The Plot Thickens: “Let’s Get Our Story Straight”
After allegedly engaging in multiple inappropriate encounters, Salinas was arrested in January. But here’s where it gets extra Florida—text messages revealed the pair discussing how to “get their story straight.” Because nothing says “totally innocent relationship” like coordinating alibis like a low-budget crime drama.
The Charges: Florida Bingo Card Complete
Salinas now faces seven counts of lewd or lascivious battery, which is basically Florida’s way of saying, “Ma’am, this is a Wendy’s.”
Moral of the Story?
Funerals are for mourning, not for meeting your next illegal romance. Just… maybe stick to Tinder next time? (And by next time, we mean never do this again.)
Stay weird, Florida.