By TalesFromFlorida.com
Only in Florida does a drug bust turn into a slapstick chase scene straight out of a low-budget action comedy. Meet Nicole Wert, 34, and her unnamed brother—two would-be fugitives who thought an electric scooter was their best shot at freedom.
The saga began when police busted Nicole’s boyfriend, James Burges, 35, for having a “trafficking amount” of drugs (fentanyl, cocaine, and probably some Florida Man energy drinks) in his car. Sensing the jig was up, Nicole and her brother hopped onto their trusty electric scooter—because nothing says “eluding the law” like a vehicle with a top speed of 15 mph.
Spoiler: Their escape lasted approximately as long as a TikTok trend.
Witnesses described the scene as “like Dumb and Dumber but with worse life choices.” The scooter wobbled, the siblings panicked, and gravity did what gravity does best—sending them tumbling onto the pavement like a pair of overcaffeinated raccoons. Police, who were probably too busy facepalming to even sprint, strolled over and cuffed them without breaking a sweat.
The best part? Nicole’s brother wasn’t even charged. That’s right—he got to walk away with nothing but a bruised ego and the knowledge that his sister’s boyfriend’s drug stash just ruined his afternoon.
Meanwhile, James is probably sitting in a cell wondering why his girlfriend thought a scooter was the optimal getaway vehicle. (Pro tip: If you’re running from the cops, at least steal a golf cart. This is Florida—blending in is key.)
No word yet on whether the scooter has been impounded as an accomplice.
Stay tuned for more Florida Man (and Woman) adventures, where the crime is bold, the escapes are weak, and the mugshots are chef’s kiss perfection.