BONITA SPRINGS, FL—In a move that somehow still works in 2025, a trio of smooth-talking scammers convinced an elderly Florida woman they just wanted to pray over her—while their third accomplice was busy swiping her valuables like a raccoon in a jewelry store.
According to the victim’s daughter, the suspects approached her mom with the kind of holy enthusiasm usually reserved for televangelists and Black Friday sales. While two of them laid hands on her and murmured blessings, the third ninja’d inside the house, helping themselves to cash and jewelry like they were on a divine shopping spree.
The Holy Heist Breakdown:
– Suspect #1 & #2: Distract with powerful prayer energy (and probably some “Amen, sister!” for good measure).
– Suspect #3: Casually loots the place like it’s a Skyrim side quest.
– Victim: Too busy feeling blessed to notice her valuables just ascended to heaven.
This isn’t the first time Florida has seen criminals weaponize spirituality. Last year, a man in Orlando tried to exorcise a woman’s “demons” by stealing her TV. And let’s not forget the classic “Bless Your Wallet, Let Me Hold That For You” scam that’s been running since the invention of faith.
Local authorities are now warning residents to be wary of overly enthusiastic prayer warriors—especially if they show up uninvited and start casting out demons near your jewelry box.
Meanwhile, the victim’s family is left wondering if the thieves at least left a “God Bless This Robbery” note behind.
Stay vigilant, Florida. The devil works hard, but Florida scammers work harder.